So a couple weeks back I hit my limit. Fiancé split up with me, bills piling on, and life was just seemingly going down hill. The breaking point was when I had made arrangements to pay the cable, but they still shut it off. Small I know, but it was that acorn in the iceberg. (From ice age 2 I believe is where that comes from.) I had thoughts that were unbelievably vivid and bad, blew up and left me broken and feeling alone. I'm not one to break that bad these days, thanks in large part to understanding why I am the way I am and the medication helps too, but this was bad enough to make people around me feel so very uncomfortable that they didn't want to come over anymore. Now I told you that story to relay my feelings now.
I was hanging out with my now ex fiancé last night and, I understand it didn't come out right, but it really dropped me to that line and I almost broke, pretty much did. One more thing would have done it. What was said isn't important, as she said, it didn't come out right, but it got me thinking, how horrible of a person am I? Even though it came out wrong it still came out, and I believe that's damn close to a Freudian slip. Maybe I'm worried that the phrase was on target, maybe I am that horrible. If that's the case is there any redemption for me?
I was hanging out with my now ex fiancé last night and, I understand it didn't come out right, but it really dropped me to that line and I almost broke, pretty much did. One more thing would have done it. What was said isn't important, as she said, it didn't come out right, but it got me thinking, how horrible of a person am I? Even though it came out wrong it still came out, and I believe that's damn close to a Freudian slip. Maybe I'm worried that the phrase was on target, maybe I am that horrible. If that's the case is there any redemption for me?
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