It's not worth it, there's too much going for you at any given moment.  Temporary insanity doesn't make an excuse,  I fucked up. There really is no turning back from this point, no waking up from a nightmare. It's all a matter of fixing what you wrought. Here's hoping that things are really looking up for me.

Recently I have come to realize that I am every woman's test dummy. All I have had happen with them is backstabbing and pin pricks in my heart as to what they can get away with. Call me your boyfriend and then dump me for your ex, what happened to talking and working stuff out? Tell me about your escapades and expect me to just be cool with it.  Women have no sense of right and wrong. They are self centered and c L venomous creatures who need to be taught the difference between right and wrong. So stupid the way they just play with people's hearts. If you're a woman reading this, don't lie to yourself you do the same thing, fix the problem, treat us as equal genders not cock roaches you need to stomp on.

I have recently discovered the existence of a "legend" called the Black Knight satellite.  I admit i'm in to a lot of different things, mostly paranormal and video game, but the most fascinating part of existence is space.  I feel as though this staying on one planet thing is unnatural.  We are meant for the stars. Meant to explore every corner of this universe while it exists, maybe find a way to save it from annihilation. The Black Knight is proof that we need to explore evading, nor invade or even mine for resources, but explore life.  That's why we're here. Google for pictures.

So recently I've had my fair share of random thoughts.  Lady night for a half hour before going to bed I began speaking in two different voices to myself.  No I'm not crazy, but I get a kick out of making voices.  That's neither here nor there. The thoughts I been having have all involved my favorite subjects.  Lately though they've fallen to the always interesting after you die what happens. I don't know of course, but do you remain trapped in this world? Do you go to a different Plane of existence? Heaven or Hell of course depending on how you acted?An alternate universe? Is the way to the alternate universe paved by the death of this universes version of you? It's something we should all be thinking about. I like the thought that it opens you to the next universe.  Here's another thought, what's pulling the universe further apartevery second? I don't even know where to begin to answer it, though people do believe that it's just what the big bang caused. I mean we will never really know. Just good to ponder.

This video is of a scientist that apparently created a camera that can take pictures of energy in living organisms, plants and humans. How amazing! Is it real, the plant pictures appear to show its energy. You decide. Try to keep up with the text.

http://youtu.be/RDmivrnktkQ

Sorry it's been so long, dealing with a lot, but I'm back to share another mysterious happening. Google Charlie Chaplin and mobile phone and you should come across a video from 1928, of a woman carrying a cell phone?????

According to Roger Ebert before his passing it could have been a new fangled hearing aid that was invented in that day and age. Even possibly a woman holding something while blocking the sun, but it doesn't explain why when she turns to the camera she doesn't shift to block the sun from her face? So what then is the small square (?) item that she appears to be talking in to?

Fast forward to 1940, or at least supposedly, a photo of a "modern day" hipster within a large group of people that are dressed far nicer than him. Here's the image, see if you can pick him out.

Personally I believe that this second pic, is faked. So what are your opinions?

It's funny, you go in to the night thinking its going to be awesome, thus far the night has failed it's task. I just feel like I'm being brought further and further down because of recent events. The one night that I'm out with my friends and the place is dead as hell. Course I suppose I should read it as a sign, but the sign sucks. Leaves me wondering what I'm supposed to do. Do I just pine or do I attempt what seems to be the impossible? How do I attempt the impossible when everything is fighting me? Can I survive it? I don't know what to do or think, but I don't want anyone to tell me either. Bah.

First I want to thank everybody for reading. Today, and possibly the next few days, the thought in my head is something some people find hard to understand. A little back story on my process of thinking, I believe everybody deserves love, and to be loved, but I, for as long as I can remember, have never like I deserve to be loved. Maybe I'm just being emo, because I force my caring and loving out there and on to whomever I'm with. The downside is I can't accept it back. It truly is a curse. So today's subject is being loved, how do you accept it? Of course if everyone could not accept being loved what would the point of love be? So is it so bad that I have so much trouble accepting love? I hate that I can't, but it is what it is. So how do you fix that? Do I just fake it til I make it? Or do I need therapy? Who knows maybe this is normal?

I never realized there were so many thunderbird pictures from the old west. This is the first one I'm attaching pics to. So one theory about thunderbirds is that they are pterodactyls that some how survived the extinction of the dinosaurs. These pictures seem to support that idea. I hope that something was able to survive extinction. That gives me hope, because it is bound to happen to us. Now there is also the thought that maybe they survived millennia of being frozen in ice, like the idea of humans using cryogenics to freeze themselves and it just so happened they unfroze. Here are the pics tell me what you think? Real or fake?